My dearest and beloved

28th of August, Thursday. My grandfather was pasted away on 3.10pm. The same time i was at home, my mother been there, 3.30pm only my mom to contacted me. At the same time, i was on the phone with my sister-in-law to help her online booking for Saturday night movie ticket, before to the pay transaction, she just received call from my brother to cancel it cause they can't be go already. I'm felt like not important for me when i knew that then i went to keep some cloths for me and my mom as well, preparing to go grandparent's house. Since i went there, outside had few canopy, in the house is empty, some staff was rush in and out to prepared the things for funeral. I went in and drop down my things in my uncle's room, then went out the living room. My cousins all around gather there and also my aunts and uncles, they were discuss something for funeral. Little cousin was still making happy feel but some adults was still in the sad mood. Since i went there i never seen my grandfather last face cause i scare i can't enduring to cry. The first day not yet to start mourning etiquette so granddaughter can go back home. We get a best rest then only went to overnight at there. Funeral had going on for three days two night. First night i didn't sleep til 4am or 5am something only went to sleep, around morning after sun wast there only i went to my uncle's room to sleep on the comfortable bed. Ha ha...too bad! The second day, i can't enduring to stay there then i went to sleep before they sleep so i can sleep on the bed cause the third day need to wake up early and for conducting a funeral procession...Ha ha. Every night when the etiquette on all the grandchildren was just like a child joke and fun around not even like a sadness thing happened. It's suck like a unfilial children. He he...but those adults also nothing else, seriously it's already a reality so we just have to acceptable only. People must look forward not backward. The third day was the sadness day cause we would please our beloved grandfather went to peaceful. The two hours funeral procession of conduction some would crying for that included me. All looks like a serious and sadness faced to the coffin and can't speak anything. After the funeral ended when back to home, the last session finished, one by one waiting for bath cause we all already have a smelly body for three days. That day is Sunday and damn tired so since we went back home dropped down everything bath again then laying on the bed for few hours. Til 8pm something my father only wake up and asking us went to dinner. All still blur cause it was not enough sleep yet so we just ate some foods only then went back to sleep again. Luckily the next day Monday is public holiday so no need to work or study. Morning uncle giving a call for breakfast - dim sum at KJ. Four tables for our whole family still can not cover fully. After then, my grandma want to go grave for a look so we planed to went there in the afternoon then went to 'sifu' at ampang. Whole family gathered whole day went here and there then dinner at KJ as well. This was Lum's family gathered for five days, joked fun and played.
1st of October, Hari Raya Day, my grandma went to ipoh with my uncle and aunt. After went back for few days, she get not feeling well so my uncle send her to hospital Assunta. Body checking for few days already the doctor still haven know what is happen til one week time only said the report show that gallbladder is infected so must take operation to cut it out. After the operation my grandma was in HDU for one week++ then move to normal ward. Two weeks ago my grandma move out from hospital already, seems my first aunt was not taking her so good so my second aunt shift her to aunt's house take care of her. Since that day my grandma feel better and better again. After one month times my aunt got to work so grandma shift back to home.
One week time not even gone yet, she went to clinic for checking cause she feel her stomach very pain. The doctor asked to go hospital checking for clearly but my uncle still send her back to same hospital since last time the same doctor was not good enough for checking. My mom already suggest to send to UM but they still not listening especially my first aunt. Since she was a teacher before but she is damn no knowledge wan though that she very experienced won't able to listen to people. The sadness thing came. The doctor suggest to take another operation cause have a 7" tumor surrounding the half stomach. This is a such serious operation to have. After this second operation, she was in ICU for three weeks time. I was sadness when every time went to visited her. My uncles is suffering cause the cost of the ward is damn expensive then they only think to shift hospital but the problem is she is in serious condition. Since she was take away the oxygen hole, they first min asked the doctor sign for shift to UM.
Last Friday night, i received sms from aunt that grandma already shifted to UM after i finished work. After i bath and take my dinner, i was online checking mailbox and so on. Then my mom received call asked to go hospital. My father went to meeting so just brother, me with mom to go. Just reached we saw all gather at ground floor include my mom's relatives. I was keep listening that relatives suggestion giving an injection (that is something to make people feel painless but not for illness, some kind of let people gone) and this and that la. Shit thing...hopeless they can said like that. Even my uncles also listening to them the same opinion to give. I wonder how come they can be that, giving up to let grandma leave. I'm very angry and sadness that they can be that. I heard that actually she need to take operation to clear the organ cause already injection inside but just have 10% chance. Then my mom asked to call my dad to come along. Since my dad came, he advised them to take operation for her but they're still the same, decided to rejected and send her back home not even treasuring the only 10%. Since it's already late at night, after we visit grandma then back home, but they not even conform anything then all gone.
Yesterday (Saturday) i got work til 3pm. I know mom will be there afternoon then i received brother called asked to straightly go grandma's house cause she was back home already. I'm already tired enough but have to went there still. For two hours then i went back. Unlucky day, i went to bank to access my new card with new password but it decline my card and never returned back...damn it! Now i had to go back to the bank and report to cs branch. Damn 'mafan' liao! Went back home, keep this and that then bath. Wait til dad came back then go dinner and back to grandma's house again.
Today, Sunday. Early morning breakfast with parent and sister. I keep cleaning house the whole day and lunch with cousin sister then now writing blog for bullshitting. Stupid enough... Now my dad came back and bath already, so i got to leave for dinner and go to grandma's house again.
To be continue...a lots thing and long time never updated already.

My first job

Since i was withdraw already from june until oct, i had did nothing at all>stay home, played with bibi, went out to anywhere. I had been an "princess" for few months. A period of time i never update my blog cause i had full-filled my time with other stupid stuff and lazy to update my blog. Since i got work already i more busy toward my work.

Recently i got my first job as customer service assistant at old klang road. I had started my work at Oct but it's not longer job. I just wonder to work as temporary only. Maybe this month will be my last month to stay there. Since i work til now i seems like not so happy. First of all, there's always adding on cases before i finish my cases. Everyday facing the same few different case very complicated and it had to take time to finish one case. This is not the worst. After one month there, my senior had leave then an AM is started treating me not good as before when i knew her til now i had no idea how to face her everyday. If i got nothing i never to disturb her except if my senior and AM also not in so i might go to her. If it's no choice la. This happened was make me wanna far away from her better if i leave.

I'm still in free minded cause i still not conform to decide which i want to do. Either study hotel management or waiting for cabin crew interview in MAS, I hope so but it's look like wasting time. If i get to study already and same time i get the job offer then i might withdraw again ah. I wish to not withdraw second time again.
Cause since i was worked i don't wonder to working for whole life like this.
Since the time when i withdraw until now, i had no idea what i had did. I'm feel like i was wasting time by the moment. I guess i still get lose.